You Can Be the Author of Your Life

Hm! What does that mean and why don’t you feel like that? We often get pulled in a lot of different directions daily. Some of  them you may not have control on. Others you do have control. More importantly understanding that one of those things you absolutely have control over is the stuff going on in the background, in your head. Taking control of that has a huge positive impact on your life.

What do we mean by “Control”?

When I talk about control, what I mean is those things that you can have an impact on. This is an important concept because as human beings we ruminate on and spend a lot of time thinking about things that are out of our control. Why? 

We still think we should be able to take control.  So many people think they have control over everything in their lives. That is until closer examination they realize the truth.

Levels of “Control”

There are 3 levels of control – having control, having partial control and having no control. Take a moment to think about your life and plop things into these categories. See what comes up. 

If you have partial or full control the next step is to ask yourself how you want to move forward.

If you have no control you have 2 options – keep ruminating or let it go. 

Thinking becomes habit 

How you think about something is the perception you have built about that thing. Something happens and you react based on how you have always reacted. You do not (usually) consciously think about it. It just happens. 

This habitual thinking and reactions come at every level – total control, partial control and when you have no control. Although the latter one is what gets you into the most trouble. When you can not go back and change something that has happened or impact something that is too far in the future, you rack your brain trying to figure out how to…but you can’t….but you want to. It becomes a biscuits cycle. 

You as author

You do not have to ruminate on things that are out of your control. You also should not  allow old perceptions to unconsciously rule your life. With practice you can be the author of your life. 

Step #1: It starts with awareness. What is out of your control and what is the unconscious, habitual thinking around it? 

Step #2: Realize that your perceptions aren’t real or factual. They have become a habit. They aren’t you and you don’t need them. Ask yourself, in this moment, what do I want? 

Step #3: How do you want to respond? Do you want to challenge your perception and change it into something else? Do you want to let go of the thinking around it? Do you want to change the language? 

Here are some of Deepak Chopra’s centering thoughts that may help –

• I am in charge of my brain. Not the other way around. 

•  Today, I am completely free of the past.

• Today, I am creating a better version of myself. 

• This is what I want. This is the “me”, I want to be.

Final thoughts

As you know, I am a huge fan of developing mindfulness because it makes this process a little easier. Mindfulness helps with momentary awareness so when you are thick in the weeds there is still a chance to turn it around. With or without it you can chip away at negative, stressful, worrisome thoughts. You must rinse and repeat the steps above over and over. Good news is, even though I have gotten much better at it, I still have to work on it daily. 

You can have the life you want when you learn to realize what is going on, think about what you want and work on changing it. 

This is not easy and if I can help let me know! Remember, it can be done!